so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
