It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
