this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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