This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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