I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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