It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
