Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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