i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
