Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
