sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
