last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
