just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
