I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
