Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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