He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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