he wants to bone in the snuggie
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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