Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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