For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize