We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
