I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize