That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize