I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
