i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
