Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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