i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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