worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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