You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
