shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
