So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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