Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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