i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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