I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So many bounce houses so little time
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
