Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We are all done wearing pants today
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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