woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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