just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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