He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
