dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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