these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
