Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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