playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
