I think I died a long time ago.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
