i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
