I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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