My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
