i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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