he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She needs sedatives and a leash
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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