walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize