Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
