when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
