this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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