it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
