please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
