Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
