3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
