I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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