Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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