lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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