Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
