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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So how was he last night?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Five-minute foot-long.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  haha what'd she say

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..

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• (650): View more from California

  what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  hey. who tried to drive me home last night?

  (904): View more from Florida

  not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?

  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  walking out with herpes. that would be worse

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

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• (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  DO IT!

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