So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
