i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
