I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
