We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
