so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
