I'm jealous of your bromance
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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