sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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