I looked at my own cervix.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize