Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
