In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
zippers are such a cool invention
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
