I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
