did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize