So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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