Barsexuality is the new black.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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