I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
